Would you like a towel with your bus ride?

I know a lot of you out there are waiting with booze soaked breath for a report on the bus trip yesterday. Believe me, I have tons I want to report on.

There's only one small problem.....I can't figure out a way to accurately describe the fun filled, moist, ass cheek wagging good time that was had by all.

It's tough, you know? Most of my neurons aren't quite firing this morning like they should. Trust me, the Fruit Loop™ staff is doing our best to reconstruct the goings on but much like a black box recorder, it's going to take some time to reconstruct what we thought we saw and what we actually did see. Bits and pieces are beginning to flood back but not completely enough to actually tell a good tale.

Oddly shaped penile enhancers.....men in kilts....amusement park rides.....paper umbrellas.....water fights.....free lunch.....snow cones....puppies.....bare assed bus stewardesses.....young latin cocktail waiters dancing on a stage......starry eyed Mormons laying in the aisle....a lone lesbian in a wet t-shirt.

All these fragments are flooding my brain and I can't put them together and have them make sense.

The Fruit Loop™ staff are all trying our best but you're just going to have to sit tight for a day or so. As soon as I check with my lawyers, I'll be in touch.